Glances at the Past
by Bottled Sunshine
Summary: A series of 10 drabbles, each elaborating on a quote from the show that references Merlin's past. Stories span from baby Merlin to leaving Ealdor. Chapter 8: the almost leaving scene.
1. Impossible

_(1) 'I was born like this.' 'That's impossible!'_

"Oh, Hunith," the midwife smiled, lifting up the freshly cleaned newborn. "Your son. A beautiful baby boy." Hunith looked up, weary but delighted. She reached for him, her utter longing obvious.

Abruptly, the midwife paused and gasped.

"What is it?" Hunith asked, panic fraying her voice.

"Nothing," she sighed in relief. "It's nothing. I thought I saw… but no. And yet, it _did_ seem that for a moment… his eyes were gold." She laughed. "A trick of the light."

Hunith took her baby, hugging him close. Her eyes met his, and it was clear they were completely and beautifully blue.

_AN: Next quote begins: "What is there to master…" I'm sure you remember the rest :) _

_**Review!**_


	2. Nothing to Master

_(2) 'What is there to master? I could move objects like that before I could talk!'_

Merlin giggled. His toy, a small wooden unicorn, flew about his head, and he clapped his hands as it went. The climbs and dips, and especially the summersaults—each elicited another giggle. His mother looked up to the peals of laughter, and her face fell.

"Oh, no," she whispered. Merlin seemed to notice her distress, and crawled closer, the unicorn bobbing along. He placed a small hand on her cheek, wiping a tear she hadn't realized fell. Suddenly, fear gripped her; noises outside seemed ominous, loud. Anyone might enter and see this… magic.

"Merlin!"

The toy fell to the ground.

_AN: Next quote begins, "So what _did _you do?"_

_In other news, maybe you all can help clear something up for me. Ealdor is in Cenred's kingdom, as established by S1E10. Cenred's kingdom allows magic, doesn't it? So why is Merlin safer in Camelot where they kill sorcerers and not in Ealdor? In fact, why is he "at odds" with the people in Ealdor at all? I'm assuming there's a different kind of danger than execution in Cenred's kingdom and a different type of fear of magic in Ealdor… but any thoughts/comments would be appreciated._

_**Review!**_


	3. Control

_(3) 'So what _did _you do?' 'It just happens!'_

"Merlin, what have I told you!" Hunith fixed her 8-year-old with a stern glare. He stared resolutely at the floor. "Well?"

Merlin scowled. "He's a bully—he deserved it!"

"_Merlin!_ I've told you countless times: you must keep it hidden! For your sake and my sanity! You must never do something like this again."

"Nobody even noticed!"

"Promise me, Merlin."

He bit his lip. "I can't." She frowned. "Sometimes," his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "Sometimes it just happens."

Hunith looked down at her son's heartbroken face and hugged him tightly. "Then you must learn to control it."

_AN: Next quote begins "Do you think the villagers believed him?"_

_Notice Hunith says "Merlin" 3 times out of the 4 lines she speaks. That is because the exclamation of the word "Merlin" is one of my favorite sounds. I could listen to that all day. _Mer-_lin! Mer-_lin! MERLIN! _See? Isn't it delightful? Even just listening to it in my head…_

_Thanks for all your explanations/speculations!_

_**Review!**_


	4. Pessimist

_(4) 'Do you think the villagers believed him?' 'No. He's always been a troublemaker. They're used to ignoring him'_

"WILLIAM_!"_

At his mother's shout, Will reluctantly rose. He had been lying dejectedly on the edge of the field, squinting against the too-bright sun.

"It's not going to rain anyways," he muttered, making his way through the crops. "I don't even know why we bother. It hasn't rained for weeks… what does it matter if there are _weeds?" _He exhaled loudly and surveyed the field._ "_We're all going to starve."

"We certainly will if you keep this up," Merlin said, grinning at him.

Will glanced at his friend hesitantly. "I bet you could—"

Merlin grin vanished. "Will. Please don't."

_AN: Next quote: "I'm not a monster, am I?"_

_Somehow "troublemaker" was interpreted as "extreme pessimist" and "they're used to ignoring him" as "_I'm _used to ignoring him." Which is kind of how it felt to me in "Moment of Truth."_

_Hope everyone is enjoying series four :)_

'_**Tis the season to give… reviews!**_


	5. Monster

_(5) 'I'm not a monster, am I?'_

Merlin stared resolutely at the wall and did not answer her.

He couldn't shake their voices. _"What could have done this?"_ Jack staring around the woods in wonder, Will kneeling beside the deer. Merlin had only wanted to see what he could do; he had only meant to be throwing _leaves_ this morning… a celebration… but the deer…_ "Must've been some kind of monster." _The words still echoed painfully in his ears. Still made him want to shrink away from himself.

Hunith kneeled beside him, setting down the tray of his dinner favorites with a small sigh. "Happy Birthday, Merlin."

_AN: Cutting this down to 100 words was kind of difficult! But this is the halfway point, everyone, so leave a halfway-point-celebration review. Colin Morgan's birthday isn't until the 1__st__ of January, but you know… maybe Merlin's is today :D_

**Reviews are beloved… and encourage quicker updates!**


	6. Lying

_(6) 'Face it, Merlin. You're living a lie, just like you were living here.'_

"Could you freeze the pond solid?"

"Honestly, I've never tried before."

"Could you move a person? Like _me?_"

Merlin laughed. "Move yourself," he said, only half-joking. He had to admit, despite how many questions Will asked, he was glad to finally have a friend know his secret.

"Could you make yourself fly?" "Could you make it sunnier?" "Could you make roast chicken out of thin air?"

"WILL! Even if I could do those things, I still couldn't really _do_ them… it's a secret. I'm supposed to keep it hidden."

"My mum says secrets are just like lying."

"Shut up, Will."

_AN: Thanks so much to all who reviewed, and to all those who are still reading! A special thanks to MamzelleHermy, _whose review reminded me that I really had better update. And if you're looking for some excellent Merlin fics, her profile would be a good place to peruse

Let me know what you thought-**review!**


	7. Guilt

_(7) 'This place has been boring without you.'_

Will glanced at him with a quick grin, and Merlin smiled back. Their nerves were high, but as long as they remained hidden behind these folds of cloth for half a minute more, Merlin was certain they could carry out the prank and Mary Simmons would never suspect a thing.

It took one poorly timed breath in, and Merlin-luck being what it was, pollen from the cloth tickled his nose. A sneeze later, and – his magic ever acting without his intent – he found himself just outside.

"William! Again!"

Merlin felt his heart fall to his stomach. The guilt was overwhelming.

AN: Two points. (1) Sometimes, I think I judge Will a little too harshly. It's like being Ron, but instead of famous Harry Potter, it's epically more famous and powerful Merlin. (2) Merlin needs to learn this cool transportation spell thing that we've seen from Morgouse. And even the old lady in S1E1. That's what I'm hoping for tomorrow.

And can you believe it?! Series/Season 5 this Saturday! Let me know if you need a hand finding somewhere to watch, fellow non-Brit fans :)


	8. Banished

'_Why did you leave?' 'It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew, she was so angry.'_

"This is about Will, isn't it? Going to banish me to Camelot for having a friend?"

Hunith rubbed her temple. "You wear on my patience, Merlin. I _love _you; I'd never 'banish' you anywhere."

"Then what is it?" he repeated.

Hunith sighed, looking past him. "You never were meant to be a villager, Merlin," she said quietly. "You have a great gift… and all I've ever done is order you hide it. Why shouldn't Will know? Why can't everyone recognize you for your greatness? Perhaps in Camelot, with Gaius to guide you, perhaps you can find its… purpose."

Merlin swallowed.

_AN: Two more to go! This was originally for chapter nine but I became impatient with eight not working, so I posted this anyway. Also, we so rarely get any inkling of past anymore that I latched onto Gaius's mention in 5.05 referencing the old, untouched-by-Camelot Merlin. I think I'd like to do that for ten. And so a new ten means the old ten becomes nine, the old nine eight, and eight gets neatly thrown out. _

_I love Hunith. I wonder what she's up to as of late…_

_Review! Even the briefest of comments brightens my day._


End file.
